(It may not be my last project, but it kinda is. It isn't really a goodbye, but it kinda is. See below.)
For over 10+ years I've had my heart in producing entertainment. I also strive to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Recently I've been dwelling and praying about a decision that will shape the rest of my life and those surrounding me. I have chosen a decision that could stir many to ask "Why?!". I don't expect anyone to agree with or even understand my choices.
I was convicted that developing the violent video game FEARLESS FANTASY does not Glorify God and in fact may be pulling me and others away from God. I no longer desire to touch FEARLESS FANTASY. This is where my journey ends; trusting in Him is all I have. And it's not JUST that project itself, it's ALL projects as they distract me from my spiritual appetite. My career was an idol to me, a god before God. It was suffocating my relationship with God.
Recently I've been spending more time with God and my thoughts were stimulated and some of these videos made a huge impact:
Why Do You Serve God? [59 min] Why do I serve and believe in God? Is it for riches or fame? Or if I live a life of suffering, would I still praise Him? Scriptures tell us that a blessed and righteous man named Job endured many horrifying events from the devils provoction. The devil claimed that Job would lose his faith in God if only Job would experience torment. By Job staying faithful to God wave after wave of afflictions, Job with his life, vindicated God. I want to vindicate Him any oppportunity I can get.
A Love Story [86 min] This video made God's love became more of a reality to me. My love for Him is growing which is giving me a new spirit; with this deeper experience of His Love, His Character and with His Holy Spirit, I would do or endure anything for Him! (Why does the wife quit smoking or XYZ for her husband? Becuase she loves him!) This video made me cry hardcore like a baby as I learned God loves me like I never imagined.
Escaping The Black Hole [90 min] This video shared some perspectives on what could possibly be hindering my spiritual health while sharing dramatic suggestions to improve spiritual health. This one greatly influenced my decision of abstaining from the entertainment industry. (UPDATE: I haven't stopped using my talents! In fact today I uploaded a new song and I uploaded a new animation months after writing this news letter. I just don't work on 'meaningless' things. That animation is called "Overcoming SILLY anxiety and panic attacks! Forever!". I am still using my talents if the projects do not go against my conscience.
My Testimony: How God Saved Me from the Devil's Workshop [43 min] This audio presentation opened my eyes to the severity of the unseen world that influences us daily. The guy shares how the entertainment industry can influence our spiritual health. We become what we behold. He even shares his own testimony. If you lack time or whatever, please at least listen to timecode, 31:30, for the OOMPH and get to the point (It's about 2 minutes! And it further supports the video "Escaping The Black Hole".). It's the story about the witch. But of course I encourage you to watch all the videos and audio presentation and in their entireity with undivided attention. Otherwise, you may not be exposed to what I have been exposed to and you may still ask "Why?"
Why am I a Christian? What compelled me to value a world which I cannot see?
What did God personaly do for me? I used to be really shy, quiet, and insecure, but as I got closer to Jesus He took that away. I used to be painfully shy. Like you know, introvert. But I was still extrovert, but I had my moments of super shyness and my insecurities would eat me away. Now I'm a new man! :) HI!!! As I drew closer to Jesus and started developing a relationship with Him, I began to experience Him instead of Him just being Words in a book that go in one ear and out the other. He became real.
Years ago I heard the story of Jesus and what He did for me; I was moved with His Holy Spirit. Through hearing, I grew faith and I remember that it felt like I was leaping off of a cliff to believe that He is real. (I did not grow up as a Christian and was an athiest until I was about 19)
THE STORY: "For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day" He created man, Adam and Eve. God said to them, "Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." The devil appeared as a serpant and influenced them into eating from it! Disobeying God is a sin. Sin has seperated us from our heavenly family; sin is naturally forbidden in heaven. "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." The price of sin is eternal death. God loves us all. He sent His only Son Jesus(Who is sinless and perfect) to earth to become a man to ultimately pay the price of sin for us so that we can be reunited in heaven. What was the price? Death. Jesus had to die for us. Say you go to a resteraunt and order soup and salad and the price comes out to be 40 dollars. But you don't have 40 dollars. Then Jesus comes and pays the price. You just need to accept His gift! Once you accept it, the resteraunt owner will say "Thank you for this 40 dollars" and excuse you. Jesus won't force His gift on us as we all have free will. How will acceping Him as Lord and Savior prevent eternal death and reunite us with our heavenly family? How do you usually point out someone in a crowd? You say "The guy wearing the red shirt, and white hat." When you accept Him, He will cover you with "the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness". God will see you wearing His Robe of Righteousness. And only through the name of Jesus will our sins be forgiven. (Becuase Jesus who is sinless and perfect is the one who paid the price;death.) What really touched me was...Jesus had always addressed God as "Father", and while He was dying, the perfect sinless Being He is became sin for us, then died. During this moment for the first time ever He addressed God as God. At that moment He was seperated from His Heavenly Family (He became sin!). "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Mat 27:46 He died and rose 3 days later. In the same way that Jesus ressurected, we too will have ever lasting life if we believe on the One Who paid the price. This is the fundamental belief. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16
And some may ask "Why is it so easy to 'be saved'? I don't understand and dont like how it's too easy." Remember, it's a gift. God loves us. Love itself is free. You don't pay for it. Who was the last person you fell in love with? Did you have to give or require money for that love to be made known? In the same way, the gift of eternal life is a gift. You can't buy love and God is love.
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You may know some or many who profess to be a Christian. You might feel some to be hippocrits; maybe turning you away from Jesus. It can be difficult to follow Jesus(That's the goal of a Christian, should be at least), it is only through His Holy Spirit(which should be prayed for daily) that Jesus may shine through the believer to reveal God's love to the world. We must look at Jesus, not the followers, for He is truly what it is about. "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." Matthew 7:13-14. Could it be that the true ambasadors of Christ are outnumbered by those who possibly unintentionally carry His name in vain?
Questions? Comments? You're welcome to message me.
Scriptures that encourage my decisions:
It is written: "14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them: and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye seperate , saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you." (2 Corinthians 6:14)
THOUGHTS: That is the scripture that spoke to me. At church we had a visitor who shared that verse to me. He was on a business trip and it was his first time visiting my church and neighboorhood. He returned home the next morning. To me, that was no coincidence; which makes all these convictions tug my heart deeper.
It is written: "So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth" ( Revelation 3:16)
THOUGHTS: I want to be hot for Him (Putting God #1 in my life. And in this case, having my career while serving Him would be lukewarm.) Personally, being lukewarm bothers me.
It is written: "(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation)" (2 Corinthians 6:2)
THOUGHTS: As a follower of Christ, I desire to live as if Jesus will return at any moment or as if any breathe I take could be my last. I don't want to be dishonoring Him during those events.
It is written: "If ye love me, keep my commandments." (John 14:15)
THOUGHTS: My love for Him has sky rocketed in these few days.
Heads up! I am NOT depressed or bummed out about all this! I was only initially scared and worried for my mother (not any more becuase of prayer and walking with His Holy Spirit.) who has supported me over the years. She does not share the same faith as me so I was worried about intense friction. I never had 'a real job' my entire life becuase she supported me; letting me produce entertainment fulltime. Producing entertainment was my life. I'm still living with my parents and I'm 27. My heart prioritises Jesus and if this is what He wants then there is no problem! (Again, I have a deeper experience and understanding of His love for me and my love for Him)
What's next!? I don't know! For the first time ever I don't know what to do with my life! However, I trust in God (And that He has greater plans for me personally than if I were to stay here.) Like, what if becuase of this; thousands of people will come to Christ. Or even if it's just ONE person wow...thats amazing.
By the way, I still might draw/paint or make music.